The Medical Student as Patient

• Physician-patient relations
• Students, medical
• Asthma
• Physician's role
• Knowledge, attitudes, practice

It is the first day of my surgery clerkship; my assignment, the head and neck oncology clinic. As I anxiously wait to present my first patient, the airway emergency beeper sounds. A frantic race to the wards ensues. By the time we reach the patient in crisis, my heart is beating furiously in sympathetic overdrive, and my shortness of breath blossoms into an exercise-induced asthma attack.

The nurses' attention turns to me. Their concern is uncomfortable. I should know how to take care of myself. Yet I am in denial. I chuckle, trying to dismiss my symptoms. I contemplate leaving. I do not want to shift the physicians' focus from the emergency to me. I worry that my team will think I am weak. I have heard residents' disparaging comments about colleagues who have called in sick. I know that the students rewarded with honors evaluations are those who work the longest hours, those who show the most interest by being present for and prepared to discuss the mos cases.

Despite my denial, I soon find myself admitted to the hospital. We ran to an airway emergency, and now I cannot breathe. This morning I was the person seeing patients; now I am the patient. Though my mind is singularly occupied with seeing my physicians, the team has other demands on its time: numerous admissions to evaluate, services to cross-cover, emergency studies to order, or perhaps a cold dinner congealing in a distant room. Just the other night, I did not assess my second patient until11:00. Then, I did not realize the importance of timeliness; now, I wait for my physicians with great anticipation. I need them, emotionally and physically. I feel vulnerable and alone. I am uncomfortable and distraught that I cannot breathe.

When the team arrives, it is …